I have an amulet now. It's not a very good amulet, its main superpower seems to be snagging on the threads of the one top I have that I don't feel like a complete ugly duckling frump wearing. So, that's disappointing. It's possible that I don't understand how to work it, I am not well schooled in this defender of the universe business. There's a significant chance that the local chemist is not the most reliable source for the purchase of magical powers, and in any case, don't you have to be born to it/suffer a lab accident/crash land your alien space ship?
Moral of the story, don't lay claim to powers that don't belong to you.
And eat more pizza.
And don't be an arsehole. I'm quite certain you're not one, but I also do strongly feel that this should be a moral to every possible story.